i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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