I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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