The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
