You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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