in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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