you're like a bully in the Christmas story
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
do nipples grow back?
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