CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
