I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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