I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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