Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Found the puke drawer
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
