Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??

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(248) i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem?? http://tfl.nu/bwq7

Replies (14) Good night (3764) Bad night (1228)
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(301): View more from Maryland

We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud

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(301): We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud http://tfl.nu/i29s

Replies (21) Good night (2494) Bad night (584)
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(727): View more from Florida

and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

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(727): and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go. http://tfl.nu/b20y

Replies (37) Good night (10289) Bad night (1383)
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(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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(951): So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito. (909): dude... how have they not drug tested you yet? http://tfl.nu/fx38

Replies (43) Good night (7147) Bad night (1175)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.

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(201): It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar. http://tfl.nu/427l

Replies (8) Good night (3495) Bad night (1068)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science

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(416): Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science http://tfl.nu/y3kb

Replies (12) Good night (2083) Bad night (2101)
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(914): View more from New York

He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.

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(914): He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck. http://tfl.nu/kvtv

Replies (10) Good night (2645) Bad night (930)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas

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(901): Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas http://tfl.nu/y10v

Replies (3) Good night (1678) Bad night (993)
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(770): View more from Georgia

You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.

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(770): You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point. http://tfl.nu/sxoa

Replies (8) Good night (497) Bad night (1068)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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(870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth (1-870): I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come http://tfl.nu/shj4

Replies (5) Good night (1931) Bad night (772)
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(330): View more from Ohio

If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?

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(330): If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve? http://tfl.nu/pwke

Replies (1) Good night (1052) Bad night (407)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?

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(630): Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo? http://tfl.nu/ndaq

Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (427)
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(516): View more from New York

I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare

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(516): I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare http://tfl.nu/2gb3

Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (354)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!

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(309): Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!! http://tfl.nu/ykbd

Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (331)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

No this is saxophone Chris

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(804): Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris? (215): No this is saxophone Chris http://tfl.nu/wuq2

Replies (10) Good night (1464) Bad night (440)

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