come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.