I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
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I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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