Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im holly from the hills drunk
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Randomize
