im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
