you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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