You're so nebulous sometimes
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
