ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
