You're my little dorito
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
