Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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