she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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