$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize