I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
