So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
