dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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