i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
