I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
