just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
