i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I stole a fireplace last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
