Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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