Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
