i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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