whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
