so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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