Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
