i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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