Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
