if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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