This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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