Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
