He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
