i just google imaged poop.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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