Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
