I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
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I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
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I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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