That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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