mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize