You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
