Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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