I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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