ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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