Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
