I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
