A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
