Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
