you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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