Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
