can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
