no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
