Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
