remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
