So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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