well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
