I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
